Is Suicide Unforgivable? What the Orthodox Church Teaches and How She Mourns

If you have lost someone to suicide, you may be carrying grief that has no easy words: sorrow, anger, guilt, and the question you may be afraid to ask a priest, whether your loved one is lost. If you are the one who is struggling, you may be asking the same question about yourself. This article is written for both of you first, and for the curious reader second. The Orthodox Church does not give a cheap answer in either direction. She does not call suicide a small thing, and she does not claim to know the judgment of God. She tells the truth about life, grieves with the bereaved, prays, and entrusts the departed to the mercy of Christ.

If you are thinking about suicide, please call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, United States) or your local emergency number, and talk to your priest.¹

The rest of this article sets out what Scripture, the Fathers, the canons and the bishops of our own day say, and where the Church is firm and where she is gentle. For the funeral service itself, see Orthodox Funerals and Memorial Services; for the wider moral questions at the end of life, Orthodox Medical Ethics; for the last things, Is Hell Eternal?; and for the passions and their healing, Sin, Passion, and Spiritual Healing. The faith behind all of it is gathered on Why Orthodoxy.

In brief

The Orthodox Church holds that life is a gift of God and that taking one's own life is a grave sin: a rejection of that gift and, as the Orthodox bishops of the Americas wrote in 2007, "an act of despair."² Historically she has withheld the funeral service from those who deliberately end their lives. The same tradition has always recognised that a person may be so ill, so tormented or so out of command of himself that he is not in the position of one who chooses freely. For that reason a canon attributed to St Timothy of Alexandria asks the clergy to judge each case carefully, and bishops today allow the funeral where mental illness or gravely diminished capacity is the true account of what happened. Where the funeral is not given, the Church still prays for the family and, in private, for the departed.

Thesis: suicide is a grave sin and the Church says so plainly, but she does not pronounce on the eternal fate of any person who has died this way. She entrusts each one to the judgment and mercy of God, and she calls the living to pray, to be near the grieving, and to seek help for the despairing.

Life is a gift, and the commandment

The Church's teaching begins from what life is. God gave it; we are stewards, not owners. St Paul writes to the Corinthians, "ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).³ The commandment "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13; the sixth commandment in the Orthodox numbering, the fifth in the Catholic) was read by the Church from the beginning as protecting every human life, including one's own. St Augustine argued that Scripture gives no "divine precept or permission to take away our own life" and that the commandment, rightly read, forbids it.⁴ The Orthodox bishops' 2007 pastoral letter says the Church's early teaching against suicide stood against a Greco-Roman world in which several philosophical schools endorsed voluntary death, and affirmed "the sacredness of each human being."²

This is a statement about what life is worth. It is not a statement about how worthless the despairing feel. The Scripture that forbids the act is also full of God's compassion toward those at the end of their strength. Psalm 34:18 (33 LXX) says, "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart," and Psalm 147:3 (146 LXX), "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."

What Scripture shows: Judas, Saul and Ahithophel

The Bible records three men who took their own lives, and it does so briefly, without the commentary we might want.

• Ahithophel, David's counsellor, joined Absalom's conspiracy against him (2 Samuel 15:12); "when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed," he went home, "put his household in order," and took his own life (2 Samuel 17:23; 2 Kingdoms 17:23 in the Septuagint).
• Saul, the first king of Israel, died by his own hand at the end of his last battle on Mount Gilboa, after he had been wounded and his army had been beaten (1 Samuel 31:3-6).
• Judas, who had betrayed Christ, "repented himself" when he saw Jesus was condemned, brought back the silver, said "I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood," and then went away and took his own life (Matthew 27:3-5).

Scripture does not tell us the eternal fate of Ahithophel or Saul, and it does not say that the manner of their deaths alone decided it. The Fathers who commented on Judas judged him severely, both for the betrayal and for the despair in which he ended his life. St John Chrysostom says that Judas repented, but "late, and slowly," and "became self-condemned"; that to take his own life was "unpardonable, and a work of an evil spirit"; and that the devil "led him out of his repentance too soon," having persuaded him "to destroy himself."⁵ St Augustine says that Judas "rather aggravated than expiated the guilt of that most iniquitous betrayal, since, by despairing of God's mercy in his sorrow that wrought death, he left to himself no place for a healing penitence."⁴

Notice what these two Fathers fear: not that mercy is exhausted, but that despair shuts a door a person could still have walked through. Their severity is a warning to the living against despair, not a verdict handed to those who mourn.

The Bible also shows great servants of God who reached the edge of their strength and wished to die. The prophet Elijah, running from Jezebel, "requested for himself that he might die," and what God sent him was an angel with the words "Arise and eat" (1 Kings 19:4-5; 3 Kingdoms 19:4-5 in the Septuagint). God did not abandon him. The pattern is nourishment, rest, and a gentle word, not scorn.

What the canons say: Timothy of Alexandria, Canon 14

The canonical answers of St Timothy, Archbishop of Alexandria (one of the Fathers of the Council of Constantinople in 381), include a short question and answer that has governed the Church's handling of this matter. The English edition of the canons in the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers gives such texts "in a shortened form, for the most part in the words of" John Johnson's Clergyman's Vade-mecum (1714), as its editor explains. There Question 14 reads: "Shall there be an oblation for him, who being distracted, murders himself?" The answer: "Not except the case be very clear that he was distracted."⁶ "Oblation" means the offering of the Eucharist for the departed, with the memorial prayers.

The full answer, in the English Rudder (the Greek Pedalion, the standard collection of the canons with commentary), is longer and plainer. It concerns one who "having no control of himself lays violent hands on himself": the clergyman "ought to discern in his behalf whether he was actually and truly out of his mind when he did it," because "oftentimes those who are interested in the victim and want to have him accorded an offering and a prayer in his behalf will deliberately lie and assert that he had no control of himself"; where the person acted for other reasons, "no offering ought to be made in his behalf."⁷ The Orthodox bishops of the Americas cite the Pedalion's version of this canon in their 2007 letter. The two English versions do not disagree; the first is a summary of the second. The default is that the Church does not offer her public funeral and Eucharistic commemoration for one who deliberately ended his life; the exception is the person who was truly not in command of himself, and the clergy, today with the bishop, are charged to judge honestly.

The Council in Trullo (692), in its Canon 2, lists the canons of Timothy of Alexandria among those the Church receives.⁸ But the canon is not a verdict on any person's soul. It governs what the Church does in her liturgy, not what God does.

How bishops apply this today

In 2007 the Standing Conference of Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas (SCOBA) adopted a pastoral letter on suicide.⁹ It restates the normative position, that the Church condemns the act and has declined funerals in the ordinary case, and then recognises that "both spiritual factors, like acedia (spiritual torpor), and physical factors, like depression, can severely compromise a person's ability to reason clearly and act freely." The bishops write that "far more cases of suicide than have previously been recognized involve spiritual and/or physiological factors that significantly compromise a person's rationality and freedom," while "not removing moral culpability from all suicide cases." The letter's pastoral recommendation is that the priest "should always consult with his diocesan hierarch," and that "a church burial and memorial services could be granted unless there were an absence of significantly diminished capacities." Its first priority is the living: "the state of the suicide victim is and must remain in the hands of God," and clergy "should direct grief-stricken family and friends to crisis counseling resources."²

The Russian Orthodox Church has taken a similar road. On 27 July 2011 its Holy Synod reminded bishops and priests, "referring to the rule of Patriarch Timothy of Alexandria," that for those who took their own lives "in a state of psychological disturbance, a funeral can be served in absentia, if that person's mental illness can be verified by the appropriate medical witnesses." It also approved a "Rite of prayerful consolation for the relatives of those who have taken their own lives," which may be read more than once, as a requiem is, whenever a relative asks.¹⁰ On 24 October 2024 the Synod repeated that conscious suicide is a grave sin that bars the Church's funeral prayer, and set a procedure for children and teenagers driven to suicide by so-called "death groups" or other manipulation: the diocesan bishop or a diocesan commission examines each case and hears witnesses. Where a funeral is not approved, the priest is to offer the consolation rite and may commemorate the person in his own prayer with the words of St Leo of Optina.¹¹

This is the rhythm of Orthodox practice: firmness about the act, a careful and compassionate look at the person, and a decision that belongs to the bishop, not to a rule applied mechanically. Practice still varies. Stricter voices read the canon more narrowly than the 2007 letter does: Fr Lambros Fotopoulos, a parish priest in Athens, argues that a funeral may be given only where madness is established after thorough examination, and that for anyone else the Church's silence is the greater mercy.⁷ Others, such as the OCA priest Lawrence Farley in a personal reflection, write that those who take their lives in clinical depression "deserve our sympathy and our prayers," "including our corporate liturgical prayers."¹² If this question touches your own family, ask your priest to ask your bishop.

Praying for those the Church cannot bury

Even where the funeral is withheld, the Church does not leave the bereaved without prayer. Under the Russian Synod's 2011 decision, repeated in 2024, a priest whom relatives ask to commemorate the person may do so in his private prayer, with the words of St Leo of Optina; the preface to the rite adds that relatives may read that prayer at home with their priest's blessing, and that almsgiving for the departed helps them most of all.¹⁰ OrthoChristian's English report of the 2024 decision renders the prayer: "Seek out, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it be possible, have mercy. Thy judgments are inscrutable. Do not count this prayer of mine as a sin, but let Thy holy will be done."¹¹ It is a prayer that makes no claim and asks everything.

The prayer has a history that explains its shape. St Leonid of Optina (1768-1841), called Leo (Lev) from his name in the schema, was asked for consolation by a disciple whose father had taken his own life. An English version of his reply reads: "Entrust both yourself and the lot of your father to the all-wise, omnipotent will of the Lord... You ought not to sorrow beyond measure. God loved and loves him incomparably more than you. And so it remains for you to entrust the eternal lot of your father to the goodness and compassion of God, Who if He is well-pleased to show mercy, then who can oppose Him?" In the same reply, as the Russian text gives it, he taught the disciple the prayer the Church now uses, spoken there for his father.¹³ The words move between humility and hope. They do not say that the departed is saved; they do not say that he is lost; they place him in the hands of God.

That is where the Church stands. She does not say what only God can say. And St John writes, "if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things" (1 John 3:20).³ None of this is a claim that all will be saved; the Church's teaching on judgment and on eternal punishment is untouched. It is a refusal to pronounce a verdict that has not been given to her.

The Catholic comparison

The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it in language that Orthodox readers will find familiar in substance. It teaches that "We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of" (2280), that suicide "is gravely contrary to the just love of self" and "contrary to love for the living God" (2281), and then: "Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide" (2282). Paragraph 2283 adds: "We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives."¹⁴

Both agree that the act is gravely wrong, that illness or anguish can reduce responsibility, that the Church prays, and that judgment belongs to God; the Orthodox answer adds the canon of Timothy and the bishop's discernment about the funeral.

If you are the one who is struggling

Nothing above is a reason to hide how you feel. Priests hear this in confession and outside it, and are not shocked by it. Depression and despair are real afflictions; the Orthodox bishops' letter says plainly that depression "is an illness caused by both medical and psychological factors."² Tell your priest, and tell your doctor. If you are in immediate danger, call or text 988 in the United States or your local emergency number.

You are not a burden to be removed from those who love you. "Bear ye one another's burdens" is the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2), and being borne is part of it. The Church prays with you, keeps vigil with you, and has a place for you at the Chalice. St Paul is persuaded that nothing, "nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39). Even tonight is not beyond His reach.

If you are grieving someone who died this way

Ask your priest for a time to talk, and ask for the prayers the Church gives. Ask whether a memorial prayer is possible and whether the bishop should be consulted. Grief and guilt are not the same thing, and love continues: the Russian Synod (2024) asks priests to tell grieving families that their bond with the one they lost has not ended, and that he needs their faith and prayer.¹¹ The Church's last word over every grave is the Resurrection, and St Paul writes to the grieving that we are to "sorrow not, even as others which have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

What we can say confidently

• The Orthodox Church teaches that human life is a gift of God and that deliberately taking one's own life is a grave sin, a rejection of that gift (Orthodox bishops of the Americas, 2007; Russian Holy Synod, 2024).
• Scripture records that Judas, Saul and Ahithophel took their own lives; Chrysostom and Augustine judged Judas's act severely, as despair that closed off repentance.
• Canon 14 of Timothy of Alexandria, received by the Council in Trullo (Canon 2), makes the memorial offering depend on whether the person was truly not in command of himself.
• Bishops today (the Americas, 2007; the Russian Holy Synod, 2011 and 2024) allow funeral or memorial prayers where mental illness or gravely diminished capacity is established, case by case.
• The Church does not pronounce the eternal fate of any particular person; she prays and entrusts him to God.

{{strong: The Orthodox Church condemns suicide as a grave sin, historically withholds the funeral service in the ordinary case, allows it where the person was not in command of himself, and leaves the final judgment to the mercy of God.}}

What remains disputed

• How much of the canonical default should still be applied today, and how readily to presume that a person was not in command of himself. The 2007 letter presumes diminished capacity unless it is clearly absent; the Russian Synod asks for medical evidence (2011) or a diocesan inquiry (2024); some writers, such as Fr Lambros Fotopoulos, read the canon more strictly still.
• The Greek of Canon 14 was not examined here; the two English versions above agree in substance.

None of these touches the Church's teaching on the sacredness of life or on God's judgment.

Conclusion

The Church holds two things together because Christ holds them together: the sacredness of every life, and mercy without limit toward the broken. She says "do not do this," and she says with Christ, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). She cannot promise what God has not told her, and she will not pronounce on a soul she has not been given to judge. She will pray, "Seek out, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant," and she will sit with you in the dark. See Why Orthodoxy for the faith that stands behind her care.

If you are thinking about suicide, please call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, United States) or your local emergency number, and talk to your priest.

Notes

1. 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, "988lifeline.org," which states that the Lifeline "is available 24/7/365," that conversations are "free and confidential," and offers call, text and chat, https://988lifeline.org/. The site calls it "the national mental health hotline" of the United States; readers elsewhere should use their own local emergency number or crisis service.
2. Standing Conference of Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas (SCOBA), "A Pastoral Letter on Suicide," adopted 23 May 2007 at St Vladimir's Seminary, Crestwood, NY; text as reposted by Pravmir, https://www.pravmir.com/orthodoxy-suicide/, and by the Ukrainian Orthodox Church of Canada, https://www.uocc.ca/?p=3323. The sections quoted are "Suicide and the Orthodox Tradition," "Suicide and Science" and "Pastoral Recommendation."
3. Scripture is quoted from the King James Version (1769 text), checked against the KJV text served by this site's Bible reader (https://honestapologist.com/api/bible/connections/texts?v=kjv). "LORD" is printed "Lord" per the site's style; words the KJV prints in italics are given without brackets. Septuagint numbering was checked against Brenton's translation (ebible.org): Psalms 33:19 and 146:3, 2 Kingdoms 17:23, 3 Kingdoms 19:4-5.
4. St Augustine, The City of God 1.17 and 1.20, trans. Marcus Dods, NPNF1 vol. 2, https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/120101.htm. In 1.17 Augustine also writes, of women who killed themselves to escape violation, "who that has any human feeling would refuse to forgive them?", before arguing that Christians may not do so.
5. St John Chrysostom, Homilies on the Gospel of St Matthew, Homily 85 (on Matthew 27:3-10), NPNF1 vol. 10, https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/200185.htm. Quoted fragments are taken from that homily; the full sentence names the method, which this article does not reproduce.
6. Timothy of Alexandria, Canonical Answers, Question 14, in H. R. Percival (ed.), The Seven Ecumenical Councils, NPNF2 vol. 14, appendix of non-synodal canons, "The Canonical Answers of Timothy," https://ccel.org/ccel/schaff/npnf214.xvii.xxiv.html. The caption calls him "one of the CL Fathers gathered together at Constantinople." Percival's preface to the volume (same edition) says these canons are given "in a shortened form, for the most part in the words of" John Johnson.
7. Canon 14 of Timothy of Alexandria with its Interpretation, in the English Rudder (Pedalion), as quoted by Protopresbyter Lambros Fotopoulos, parish priest of St Kosmas Aitolos in Maroussi, "Suicide According to the Holy Canons and Tradition of the Church," from his Suicide and Priestly Conscience (Athens, 2007), trans. John Sanidopoulos, https://www.johnsanidopoulos.com/2013/08/suicide-according-to-holy-canons-and.html. The same English appears in a separate transcription of the Rudder's canons of the Fathers. The SCOBA letter (note 2) quotes the question and the Interpretation, citing "Question XIV of the 18 Canons of Timothy, Archbishop of Alexandria. Pedalion, p. 898." Fotopoulos's strict conclusion is reported, not adopted.
8. Council in Trullo (Quinisext, 692), Canon 2, NPNF2 vol. 14, https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3814.htm; the canon lists "Timothy, Archbishop of Alexandria" among the Fathers whose canons are confirmed.
9. OCA, "SCOBA Hierarchs hold Spring 2007 session," https://www.oca.org/news/archived/scoba-hierarchs-hold-spring-2007-session (session of 23 May 2007; adoption of "A Pastoral Letter on Suicide," presented by Fr John Chryssavgis and Dr Albert Rossi of the SCOBA Social and Moral Issues Commission).
10. "Rite of prayerful consolation for relatives of suicides approved by Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church," OrthoChristian, 30 July 2011, reporting the Moscow Patriarchate, https://orthochristian.com/47856.html (the resolution's four points; the Synod met in Kiev). The date of the decision, 27 July 2011, is given in the Synod's 2024 decision (note 11) and on the published Russian text of the rite with the Synod's preface, Azbuka Very, https://azbyka.ru/molitvoslov/chin-molitvennago-utesheniya-srodnikov-zhivot-svoj-samovolne-skonchavshago.html; the preface is the source for the relatives' reading of the prayer and for almsgiving. Translations from the Russian are this article's.
11. Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church, decision of 24 October 2024 on the funeral of children and teenagers who took their own lives under the influence of suicide groups or other destructive influence (Russian), from the Moscow Patriarchate's site as reprinted by Azbuka Very, https://azbyka.ru/ob-otpevanii-detej-i-podrostkov-sovershivshih-samoubijstvo (points 2 and 3); English report: "Russian Church establishes new protocol for youth suicide cases," OrthoChristian, 25 October 2024, https://orthochristian.com/164118.html, whose English of St Leo's prayer is quoted. Other renderings from the Russian are this article's.
12. Fr Lawrence Farley, "What's Wrong with Suicide?", Reflections in Christ, OCA website, 15 February 2017, https://oca.org/reflections/fr.-lawrence-farley/whats-wrong-with-suicide. A personal reflection, not an OCA statement.
13. "On Prayer for Those Who Commit Suicide and for the Departed Non-Orthodox," Mystagogy Resource Center (Fr John Sanidopoulos), 5 August 2010, https://www.johnsanidopoulos.com/2010/08/on-prayer-for-those-who-commit-suicide.html (English of the reply; the page calls him "the Optina Elder Leonid" and adds a form of the prayer adapted for a departed non-Orthodox person). Russian text of the reply, including the prayer as said for the disciple's father: Azbuka Very, https://azbyka.ru/molitvoslov/?p=524, citing the Life of the Optina Elder Hieromonk Leonid (in the schema Lev) (Odessa, 1890), p. 174. Life: "Venerable Leonid of Optina," OCA, https://www.oca.org/saints/lives/1994/10/11/148998-venerable-leonid-of-optina.
14. Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 2280-2283 (Article 5, "The Fifth Commandment," "Suicide"), Vatican website, https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P7Z.HTM. The Catechism numbers the commandment as the fifth.

Bibliography

Scripture and Fathers

• The Holy Bible, King James Version (1769 text); Brenton, The Septuagint with Apocrypha (for numbering).
• Augustine of Hippo. The City of God, Book 1. NPNF1 vol. 2.
• John Chrysostom. Homilies on the Gospel of St Matthew, Homily 85. NPNF1 vol. 10.

Canons and councils

• Timothy of Alexandria. Canonical Answers, Question 14. In Percival (ed.), The Seven Ecumenical Councils, NPNF2 vol. 14; and The Rudder (Pedalion).
• Council in Trullo (692), Canon 2. NPNF2 vol. 14.

Orthodox statements and writers

• Standing Conference of Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas. "A Pastoral Letter on Suicide." 2007.
• Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church. Decisions of 27 July 2011 and 24 October 2024; the rite of prayerful consolation with its preface.
• Farley, Lawrence. "What's Wrong with Suicide?" OCA, 2017.
• Fotopoulos, Lambros. "Suicide According to the Holy Canons and Tradition of the Church," from Suicide and Priestly Conscience. Athens, 2007.
• Mystagogy Resource Center. "On Prayer for Those Who Commit Suicide and for the Departed Non-Orthodox." 2010.
• OCA. "Venerable Leonid of Optina."

Catholic and other sources

• Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2280-2283.
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.