What Happens at an Orthodox Wedding? The Crowning, Explained

First-time guests at an Orthodox wedding often leave puzzled. Nobody said "I do." The couple wore crowns, drank from a cup that was not Communion, and were led three times around a table while the choir sang about the prophet Isaiah. Most of the service was prayer over the couple.

This guide walks through the service and its history, then two questions couples ask: marrying someone who is not Orthodox, and second marriages. On both, practice varies between the Orthodox Churches. The theology of marriage is set out in our infographic Marriage as a Holy Mystery, so this article stays with the service.

In brief

An Orthodox wedding has two parts, now served together. In the betrothal the priest blesses the rings and places them on the couple's right hands. In the crowning he prays over the couple, crowns them and blesses them: "O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honour." Then come the readings (Ephesians 5 and John 2), a shared cup of blessed wine, and a procession three times around the table. The traditional rite contains no exchanged vows, though the Slavic books ask whether the couple come freely. In the ninth century couples were blessed during the Divine Liturgy and received Communion together. Most jurisdictions allow an Orthodox Christian to marry a baptized non-Orthodox Christian by pastoral economy, but the Church does not perform a wedding with a non-Christian. A second marriage, after death or divorce, may be blessed through a separate, penitential service. Many details differ by jurisdiction and parish.

Thesis: The Orthodox wedding is a service of prayer in which the Church asks God to join and crown a couple; its history and its rules on mixed and second marriages are well documented, even where practice varies today.

Where the service came from

For centuries Christians married under Roman law and lived their marriage within the Church. Tertullian, around 200, spoke of a marriage "confirmed by the oblation," the Eucharist. Crowns were an ancient wedding custom. John Meyendorff notes that Gregory of Nazianzus knew families who asked a priest to perform the crowning, though Gregory thought the groom's father should do it.¹ John Chrysostom gave the crowns a Christian meaning: "Garlands are wont to be worn on the heads of bridegrooms, as a symbol of victory, betokening that they approach the marriage bed unconquered by pleasure."²

{{strong: In the eighth and ninth centuries couples were blessed in church during the Divine Liturgy and then received Communion together.}} Meyendorff cites Theodore of Stoudios, for whom "the principle and goal of the wedding" was the body and blood of Christ. After Emperor Leo VI (886 to 912) made a church blessing necessary for a legal marriage in his Novel 89, the Church had to bless unions, such as second and mixed marriages, where the couple could not receive Communion together, and the service gradually separated from the Liturgy. By the early fifteenth century, Meyendorff says, the rite was "practically identical" to today's, except that a couple marrying for the first time still received the presanctified Gifts before the common cup.³

Walking through the service

The order below follows Isabel Florence Hapgood's 1906 English service book, made from the Church Slavonic books of the Russian Church.⁴ Other traditions differ in details, and parishes may abbreviate.

The betrothal and the rings

The couple stand before a small table in the church holding lighted candles. After a litany the priest prays to the God "who hast espoused the Church as a pure Virgin from among the Gentiles: Bless this Betrothal." He blesses each with the rings, saying three times: "The servant of God, N., is betrothed to the handmaid of God, N.: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." The rings go on the right hand, and a prayer recalls rings in Scripture: "By a ring was power given unto Joseph in Egypt; by a ring was Daniel glorified in the land of Babylon; by a ring was the uprightness of Tamar revealed."⁵ Hapgood noted that the couple exchange the rings themselves "in the Russian Church, but not in the Greek Church," where the sponsor, the koumbaros or koumbara, makes the exchange.⁶

Why there are no vows

Fr. Thomas Hopko's catechism for the Orthodox Church in America says the sacrament "is not a juridical contract. It contains no vows or oaths."⁷ Free consent still matters. In the Slavic books the priest asks the groom: "Hast thou, N., a good, free and unconstrained will and a firm intention to take unto thyself to wife this woman, N., whom thou seest here before thee?" and whether he has promised himself to another, then asks the bride the same.⁸ If a parish adds spoken promises, that is a local addition, not part of the traditional books.

The Catholic Catechism states the contrast fairly: "In the Latin Church, it is ordinarily understood that the spouses, as ministers of Christ's grace, mutually confer upon each other the sacrament," while in the Eastern liturgies the minister "is the priest or bishop who, after receiving the mutual consent of the spouses, successively crowns the bridegroom and the bride."⁹

The crowning

In Hapgood's book the second part begins with Psalm 128 (127 in the Septuagint) and the consent questions; then the deacon's call is answered "Blessed is the kingdom of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," as at the start of the Divine Liturgy. (For the Liturgy itself, see What Happens During the Divine Liturgy?) Two long prayers name the faithful couples of the Old Testament, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, and ask Christ, "as thou wert present there" at Cana, to "be thou present here." A third, shorter prayer asks God to "stretch out now also thy hand from thy holy dwelling-place, and conjoin" the couple, words Meyendorff traces to the prayer said during the Liturgy in the ninth century.¹⁰

The priest then crowns the groom ("The servant of God, N., is crowned unto the handmaid of God, N.") and the bride, and blesses them three times: "O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honour."¹¹ Russian parishes keep metal crowns adorned with icons; Hapgood described Greek crowns "woven of olive leaves" or laurel with flowers. In Greek they are stefana, and the OCA notes that "customs vary in each parish." The crowns speak of glory, of the reward of a chaste life, and of martyrdom: later the choir sings to the martyrs "who fought the good fight and have received your crowns."¹²

The readings

The Epistle is Ephesians 5:20-33. It begins with thanksgiving and "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God," and reaches its point in verse 32: "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." The Gospel is John 2:1-11, the wedding at Cana, where Christ "manifested forth his glory."¹³

The common cup

After the Lord's Prayer the priest blesses a cup of wine for "those who are now united for a community of marriage" and, in the rubric's words, "giveth it thrice to them; first to the Man, and then to the Woman."¹⁴ It is not Holy Communion. Historically it descends from Communion: early services gave the couple the Eucharist and then a separate common cup, and when Communion dropped out of most weddings the cup remained. Today it is explained as the shared life of joy and sorrow. Hapgood recorded that in Greece in her day the couple received "bread soaked in wine" instead.¹⁵

The "dance of Isaiah"

The priest leads the couple three times around the table on which the Gospel book and cross lie, with the sponsors or groomsmen following with the crowns. The first hymn gives the procession its popular name: "Rejoice, O Isaiah! A Virgin is with child, and shall bear a Son, Emmanuel, both God and man." Then come a hymn to the martyrs and one to Christ, "the Apostles' boast, the Martyrs' joy."¹⁶ Hapgood's notes read the circle as eternity and the three circuits as honoring the Trinity.

Removing the crowns

The priest removes the crowns with a blessing: "Be thou exalted, O Bridegroom, like unto Abraham," and "Be thou exalted like unto Sarah." He asks God to "receive their crowns into thy kingdom" and gives the dismissal. Hapgood notes that in the early Church the crowns were worn for a week, and the book still has a "prayer at the removal of the crowns on the eighth day." Then, in the rubric's words, "the People come and congratulate them."¹⁷

Practical matters

Weddings are not held on every day. The pastoral guidelines of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America exclude fasting seasons, Great Lent and Holy Week, Pascha, Pentecost and several feasts, except with the bishop's permission; other jurisdictions keep similar lists.¹⁸ Our guide to the Church calendar explains the fasts. The same guidelines require the sponsor to be an Orthodox Christian in good standing; non-Orthodox friends "may be members of the wedding party, but may not exchange the rings or crowns." Couples should see their priest well ahead: in the Greek Archdiocese the priest needs the bishop's authorization, proof of parish membership, a civil license, and, after a previous marriage, a death certificate or an ecclesiastical divorce. Guests can find etiquette in our guide to a first visit.

Marrying someone who is not Orthodox

{{very-strong: Canon 72 of the Council in Trullo (691/692) rules: "An orthodox man is not permitted to marry an heretical woman, nor an orthodox woman to be joined to an heretical man."}}¹⁹ The Russian Church's Social Concept says most Orthodox Churches apply this with pastoral economy (oikonomia); the details differ:

• The 2016 Council in Crete, signed by the ten Churches that attended (Antioch, Russia, Bulgaria and Georgia stayed away), said such marriage "is forbidden according to canonical akribeia," left economy to "the Holy Synod of each autocephalous Orthodox Church," and called marriage with non-Christians "categorically forbidden."²⁰
• The catechism published by the Orthodox Church in America allows marriage with "a baptized non-Orthodox Christian" provided both "sincerely work and pray for their full unity in Christ."²¹
• The Greek Archdiocese requires the other partner to have been baptized "in water, in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit," expects the children to be baptized Orthodox, and says an Orthodox Christian whose wedding was not blessed by the Church may not receive Communion.²²
• The Russian Church marries Orthodox Christians to "Catholics, members of the Oriental Churches and Protestants who confess the faith in the Triune God" if the children are raised Orthodox. It does not bless marriages with non-Christians but recognizes them "as lawful" and does not treat the couple as living in sin.²³

A non-Orthodox spouse does not become Orthodox by marrying in the Church and does not receive Communion. See How Do You Become Orthodox?

Second marriages and the penitential rite

The Church's ideal is one marriage, even beyond death. Gregory of Nazianzus put it sharply: "The first is law, the second is indulgence, the third is transgression, and anything beyond this is swinish."²⁴ Basil recorded a penance of "one year for digamy (some authorities say two years)," and the Council of Neocaesarea (early fourth century) told presbyters not to attend a second-marriage feast, since "the digamist is worthy of penance."²⁵ Second marriages were at first not crowned; by the late eleventh century Nicetas of Herakleia wrote that "the custom of the Great Church" crowned them, while keeping the couple from Communion "for one or two years."²⁶

Today's books have a separate "Order of Second Marriage," shorter and penitential. In Hapgood's book it is used "only when both bride and bridegroom have been previously wedded"; local practice varies. Its prayers ask for "the contrition of the Publican, the tears of the Harlot, the confession of the Thief," and speak of those "entering into the bond of a second marriage," citing St Paul: "It is better to marry in the Lord than to burn."²⁷ Hapgood already noted in 1906 that the old exclusion from Communion was not observed; the OCA catechism says such couples are not excluded "if they fulfill all other conditions for participation in the life of the Church."

After a divorce the Church may permit a second and, rarely, a third marriage, never a fourth. The OCA calls these marriages performed "by 'economy'... as an exception to the rule," and the Greek Archdiocese allows a third "only with extreme oikonomia."²⁸ The Greek Archdiocese requires an ecclesiastical divorce from the bishop's court, and the Russian Church lists grounds such as adultery, malevolent abandonment and "encroachment on the life or health of the spouse," from a list its 1918 council set out and later extended.²⁹ The comparison with Catholic declarations of nullity is the subject of Catholic Annulments vs. Orthodox Divorce and Remarriage.

Questions people ask

"Without vows, how do we know the couple consented?"

Orthodoxy requires and checks consent, beforehand and, in the Slavic rite, publicly, but treats it as the condition, not the sacrament. As the Catechism quoted above shows, Catholics recognize this Eastern pattern.

"Isn't the second-marriage service shaming?"

Its language is penitential, but its intention is mercy: it admits that something was broken and asks forgiveness, praying for "our transgressions" in the first person plural.

What we can say confidently

• The Byzantine wedding joins a betrothal with rings and a crowning; its readings are Ephesians 5:20-33 and John 2:1-11.
• The traditional rite has no exchanged vows; the Slavic books ask about free consent.
• In the ninth century couples were blessed within the Liturgy and received Communion; the common cup descends from that.
• Strict canon forbids marriage with the heterodox; most Churches allow marriage to a baptized Trinitarian Christian by economy and the official texts we checked all refuse a church wedding with a non-Christian.
• A second and, rarely, a third marriage may be blessed through a penitential order; a fourth never.

What remains disputed or varies

• {{debated: The exact stages by which the wedding separated from the Liturgy rest on a small number of manuscripts.}}
• Who exchanges the rings, whether consent is asked aloud, the form of the crowns and cup, and the days weddings are allowed differ between traditions.
• Whether the second-marriage order is used when only one partner was married before.
• Procedures for ecclesiastical divorce, and the standing of Orthodox Christians in civil marriages with non-Christians.

Conclusion

An Orthodox wedding can feel unfamiliar because the couple say so little. They bring their freely given love; the Church remembers the faithful couples of Scripture, asks Christ to "be thou present here," crowns them and gives them one cup. It is a prayer that two lives become, by grace, an image of Christ and his Church, and that their crowns be received into his kingdom.

Notes

1. John Meyendorff, "Christian Marriage in Byzantium: The Canonical and Liturgical Tradition," Dumbarton Oaks Papers 44 (1990): 99-107, at 104-5 (Tertullian, To His Wife, book 2, in Meyendorff's translation; Gregory of Nazianzus, Ep. 231).
2. John Chrysostom, Homilies on First Timothy 9, NPNF1 vol. 13.
3. Meyendorff, "Christian Marriage in Byzantium," 105-6 (Theodore of Stoudios, Ep. 1.22; Leo VI, Novel 89; Symeon of Thessalonica).
4. Isabel Florence Hapgood, trans., Service Book of the Holy Orthodox-Catholic Apostolic (Greco-Russian) Church (Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin, 1906), "The Rite of Holy Matrimony," 292-306; preface on her use of the Church Slavonic books.
5. Hapgood, Service Book, 292-94.
6. Hapgood, Service Book, Appendix B, VII, note 2, p. 604; on the sponsor, see the Greek Archdiocese guidelines (note 18).
7. Thomas Hopko, The Orthodox Faith, vol. 2, Worship, "Marriage," Orthodox Church in America; similarly OCA, "Orthodox Wedding Ceremony," Questions and Answers ("There are no 'vows' in the Orthodox ritual").
8. Hapgood, Service Book, 294-95.
9. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1623.
10. Hapgood, Service Book, 294-98; Meyendorff, "Christian Marriage in Byzantium," 105 and n. 50.
11. Hapgood, Service Book, 298.
12. Hapgood, Service Book, 301, and Appendix B, VII, note 4, p. 604; Orthodox Church in America, "Orthodox Wedding Ceremony," Questions and Answers.
13. Hapgood, Service Book, 298-99 (King James wording as printed there).
14. Hapgood, Service Book, 301.
15. Meyendorff, "Christian Marriage in Byzantium," 106; Hapgood, Service Book, Appendix B, VII, note 5, p. 604.
16. Hapgood, Service Book, 301.
17. Hapgood, Service Book, 301-3; Appendix B, VII, notes 6 and 8, pp. 604-5.
18. Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, Pastoral Guidelines (from the Archdiocese Yearbook), "Weddings," as reproduced by St Vasilios Greek Orthodox Church.
19. Council in Trullo, canon 72, NPNF2 vol. 14, ed. Henry R. Percival.
20. Holy and Great Council of the Orthodox Church (Crete, June 2016), "The Sacrament of Marriage and its Impediments," section II and signatories.
21. Hopko, The Orthodox Faith, vol. 2, "Marriage."
22. Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, Pastoral Guidelines, "Weddings" and "Inter-Christian Marriages."
23. Russian Orthodox Church, The Basis of the Social Concept (2000), X.2.
24. Gregory of Nazianzus, Oration 37.8, NPNF2 vol. 7, trans. Charles Gordon Browne and James Edward Swallow.
25. Basil of Caesarea, Letter 188, canon 4, NPNF2 vol. 8, trans. Blomfield Jackson; Council of Neocaesarea, canon 7, NPNF2 vol. 14.
26. Meyendorff, "Christian Marriage in Byzantium," 102, 106.
27. Hapgood, Service Book, 303-6, and Appendix B, VII, note 9, p. 605; Hopko, "Marriage."
28. Orthodox Church in America, "Divorce and Remarriage," Questions and Answers; Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, Pastoral Guidelines, "Weddings."
29. Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, Pastoral Guidelines, "Divorce"; Russian Orthodox Church, The Basis of the Social Concept, X.3.

Bibliography

Primary sources

• Hapgood, Isabel Florence, trans. Service Book of the Holy Orthodox-Catholic Apostolic (Greco-Russian) Church. Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Company, 1906. https://archive.org/details/cu31924029363128
• Percival, Henry R., ed. The Seven Ecumenical Councils. NPNF2 vol. 14. 1900. Council in Trullo: https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3814.htm ; Council of Neocaesarea: https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3803.htm
• Basil of Caesarea. Letter 188. Trans. Blomfield Jackson. NPNF2 vol. 8. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3202188.htm
• Gregory of Nazianzus. Oration 37. Trans. Charles Gordon Browne and James Edward Swallow. NPNF2 vol. 7. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/310237.htm
• John Chrysostom. Homilies on First Timothy, Homily 9. NPNF1 vol. 13. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/230609.htm

Orthodox and patristic sources

• Holy and Great Council of the Orthodox Church. "The Sacrament of Marriage and its Impediments." Crete, 2016. https://www.holycouncil.org/-/marriage
• Hopko, Thomas. The Orthodox Faith, vol. 2, Worship, "Marriage." Orthodox Church in America. https://www.oca.org/orthodoxy/the-orthodox-faith/worship/the-sacraments/marriage
• Orthodox Church in America. "Orthodox Wedding Ceremony." Questions and Answers. https://www.oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/orthodox-wedding-ceremony
• Orthodox Church in America. "Divorce and Remarriage." Questions and Answers. https://www.oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/divorce-and-remarriage
• Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. Pastoral Guidelines: Weddings, Divorces, Baptisms, Funerals, and Memorials (from the Archdiocese Yearbook), as reproduced by St Vasilios Greek Orthodox Church. https://stvasilios.org/orthodox_faith/pastoral_guidelines/pastoral_guidelines_weddings
• Russian Orthodox Church, Department for External Church Relations. The Basis of the Social Concept, section X. https://old.mospat.ru/en/documents/social-concepts/kh/

Other scholarship

• Meyendorff, John. "Christian Marriage in Byzantium: The Canonical and Liturgical Tradition." Dumbarton Oaks Papers 44 (1990): 99-107. https://archive.org/details/DOP44_07_Meyendorff

Sources from other traditions

• Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1623. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P52.HTM