From the outside, lighting candles and asking the Mother of God to pray for you can look like idolatry. The actual practice is much simpler.
The crucial distinction
Worship (latria) belongs to God alone. Honor (dulia) is given to those who reflect his grace — and the highest honor (hyperdulia) to Mary, who carried God in her body. We honor parents, teachers, soldiers — that is not worship. The Church honors saints in the same way, only more so.
When we "pray to" a saint, the word "pray" carries its older sense: to ask, to request. Shakespeare's characters "pray" each other for favors. We are asking the saints to pray for us, just as you would ask your sister or a trusted friend.
Why this makes sense
Hebrews 12:1: "We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses." Revelation 5:8: the elders in heaven hold "golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." Revelation 8:3–4: an angel offers the saints' prayers before God's throne. The saints in heaven are praying. The Church on earth asks them to keep praying for us.
If you would ask a fellow Christian at church to pray for your sick mother, you have already done the same kind of thing the Orthodox do — only with a slightly bigger family that includes the saints across the centuries.
Mary's unique honor
Elizabeth, filled with the Spirit, calls Mary "blessed among women" (Luke 1:42). Mary herself prophesies: "All generations will call me blessed" (Luke 1:48). The Church has been doing exactly that for two thousand years.
The Council of Ephesus (431) declared Mary Theotokos — God-bearer — to protect a teaching about Christ: if her Son is God, she is God's mother. The honor given to Mary is always Christological. It points to who Jesus is.
What we don't do
We do not pray to saints instead of Christ. Every prayer goes finally to the Father, through the Son, in the Holy Spirit. The saints are intercessors, not substitutes. To make a saint a rival to Christ would be a betrayal of the saint's own deepest desire — they want you to know Jesus.
The Orthodox lens
Walk into an Orthodox church and you are surrounded by icons of the saints — because the saints actually surround you. The Liturgy unites heaven and earth: "With these blessed Powers, O Master who lovest mankind, we also cry aloud and say…" We are not worshiping alone; we are joining the eternal chorus that started long before us and will sing long after.
A pastoral word
If asking Mary for her prayers feels strange to you, you don't have to start there. Start with Christ. The saints will not be offended — every one of them will say what John the Baptist said: "He must increase, and I must decrease."
And if grief or loneliness ever makes you long for family beyond what you can see, remember: in Christ you have an enormous family on the other side of the veil. They are praying for you. They are cheering you on. You are not alone.